Sin / Son

Slovenian

I

Trgoval sem.
Sinu sem hotel podtakniti svojo
nedolžnost.
Plačal sem.
Nisem se dotaknil denarja.
Volka pošilja nadme, volka, goro,
ubil me bo iz zraka, v ljubezni.
Povsod kamor pogledam, mi nastavlja pasti.
Tam je, kjer sem najbolj varen.
Vlekel sem ga iz kože.
Nor sem bil na kožo svojega sina.
Mislil sem si, da bom tak zajtrk kot vsi
drugi.
Ploščo sem dal gor, poslušal
muziko in bil zazrt.
Pesek mi je prišel v gobec, zato sem mu ubil
mater, ki se je nanjo naslanjal, dete!
Saj si zunaj, opraviva zdaj s tem, sem mu
govoril.
Nemo me je gledal in držal zvonček v
pesti.
Pusti tisto mleko, pij moje.
Jaz sem tvoja mati. Ne podaljšuj
reči, ki niso več za nas. Daj mi
kožo, sem mu rekel. In kostni
mozeg sem mu izpil, da ga je ostal sam
hudič. Tako sem ostal
nedolžen.
Plen.

II

Med ljubeznijo in ljubeznijo je
ženska, ki ji nikoli nisem videl obraza.
Ne vem zanj

III

Kopaj se v svoji lepoti.
Dopusti ji, da te obglavi.
Ti si ta lepota. Ona
Sama je tvoj véliki brat.
Ne pozabi.
Niti za trenutek.
Moja pota so
Neobvladljiva. Umreva
lahko samo ti ali jaz,
ali oba, ali oba
skupaj.

IV

Čuvajte mi žrtev pod natančnim
tlakom,
najemniki neveste moje smrti. Vitezi in
vojščaki, izbral sem vas po svojih najboljših
močeh.
V meni ni ljubezni. Jaz sem
maska. Vem kaj
hočem. Ko se približam, se približam samo
zato, da izmerim potek svojih
priprav. Bolj
natančne so kot noč in dan. Bolj
natančne kot noč in dan morajo biti. Če
trepetam, trepetam zato, ker se
bojim, da nisem zagrešil napake iz
misli na svojo
človeškost. Ker vsaka knjiga zahteva
citat iz mojega opusa. Ne
pritožuj se, torej. Te bom že
sam zamenjal, če bom presodil, da ti pohajajo
moči.

V

Avtentično zazveni
ubijanje, ljubezen manj.
Rože ne dišijo
avtentično, ampak lepo.
Lepo diši ubijanje.
Lepo dišijo rože, rdeče, črne in
bele.

English Translation

I

I was trading.
I wanted to plant my innocence
into my son.
I paid.
I did not touch the money.
He is sending a wolf upon me, a wolf, a mountain,
he’ll kill me from the air, in love.
Everywhere I look, he sets traps for me.
He is where I feel the most safe.
I pulled him out of his skin.
I was crazy about my son’s skin.
I thought this was going to be breakfast like
any other.
I put on a record, listened
to the music and was spellbound.
Sand entered my muzzle, therefore I killed his
mother, whom he had leaned on, infant!
But you are outside, let’s take care of it now, I
said to him.
He looked at me quietly, holding a snowbell in
his fist.
Let go of that milk, drink mine.
I am your mother. Don’t prolong
the issues that are of no concern to us. Give me
your skin, I said to him. And I sucked up
his marrow so that only the devil
was left of him. That’s how I stay
innocent.
The hunted.

II

Between one love and another love there is
a woman whose face I’ve never
seen. I’m unaware of it.

III

Bathe in your beauty.
Allow it to behead you.
You are this beauty. She
herself is your big brother.
Don’t forget.
Not for one moment.
My ways are
uncontrollable.
Only you or I can
die, or
both of us, or both of us
together.

IV

Guard my victim under the right
pressure,
you tenants of my death’s bride. Knights and
warriors, I’ve chosen you the best way
I could.
There is no love in me. I am
a mask. When I come close, I come close only
to measure the level of my
preparations. They’re
more accurate than night and day. They
must be more accurate than night and day. If I
tremble, I tremble only because
I worry I’ve made
a mistake thinking of my
humanity. Because each and every book demands
a quote from my opus. Don’t
complain, then. I’ll
replace you myself if I determine that
your powers are waning.

V

Killing sounds
authentic, love less authentic.
Flowers don’t smell
authentic, but good.
Killing smells good.
Flowers smell good, red, black and
white.

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